SESSION 22: ALIVENESS
Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.
Sören Kierkegaard
Feeling alive, or the sense of aliveness, is nurtured through a fullness and richness of your experiences. Although circumstances may affect it, how much we get out of life depends more on our attitude. Experience can be enhanced in two ways:
· in quantity: trying a number of different things, striving to have a greater variety of experiences
· in quality: focusing on one thing, going in more depth by coming back to the same experience
For example, you can try several sports or enjoy playing one better and better; you can listen always to different tunes, or listen over and over again to the same song; you can have many boyfriends/girlfriends, or have more meaningful and deep relationship with one. The first choice can provide excitement because of the element of novelty, but such experiences may be superficial and their benefits short lived. The second choice may look less exciting, but can be more fulfilling. Depth is what gives substance to life. These two, of course, do not necessarily exclude each other, but intensity is sometimes used to compensate for a lack of depth. If we can’t or don’t allow ourselves to experience real, deep feelings, excitement can be sought as a substitute.
What are the characteristics of depth?
· Absorption: let yourself experience something fully and leave any judgements for later.
· Profound feelings: an experience is worthwhile only if you allow yourself to really feel it.
· Knowledge and understanding also contribute to a better experience.
· Integration: an experience is more meaningful if it can be related to other experiences
· Treat an experience as an end in itself, rather than a means to an end: this means that an experience should have a value in itself, rather than just being a means of achieving a goal.
Lets take a risk!
Taking a risk can boost experience, but it may lead to troubles. This is how they can be avoided:
· First of all, ask yourself ‘is this worth a risk’? What if something goes wrong, would you regret it? What you can do now to minimize a change that something will get wrong?
· Make a conscious decision as to how far you are prepared to go and sticking to it. Don’t let others make decisions for you, after all this is your life.
· Maintain the sense of control –this doesn’t mean being tense and not enjoying yourself. Relax, but be alert at the same time.
Make a deliberate attempt to try something different. For example, a new sport, game, food, music, group, etc. (exposing yourself to other cultures can be enriching in this respect). Write down how it was: